Sometimes this can be a hard reality to face, but the people we surround ourselves with may not always be reasonable or understanding in the face of an issue we’re having. Other times, it may not be worth having – particularly if you know there’s no way forward or favorable end result that would come from having it. Sometimes, it’s obvious when we need to have a conversation with a friend or family member. Before a tough talk, ask yourself these questions Question #1: Should I even raise this issue?
In fact, those who are able to admit blame in a situation and move forward from it are often the people who have the most successful relationships in the long run. If you’re entering the conversation feeling this way, work toward understanding that everyone makes mistakes, and that those actions don’t mean you’re not worthy of being in a healthy relationship with another person.
(ShotPrime / Getty)īecause of these beliefs, it may be hard for you or the other to admit to the wrong doings or mistakes you may have made regarding the situation at hand. These conversations may bring up feelings in one or both parties of unworthiness of being loved or valued within the context of a relationship. The identity conversation occurs when a hard conversation at hand involves calling a person’s characteristics and personality into question. From there, pay attention to where you’re translating these feelings into assumptions about another person. Before and during the feeling’s conversation, evaluate your own feelings and your beliefs about them. When having the feelings conversation, it’s important to note that even if your counterpart expresses feelings that you don’t understand or agree with, it’s integral that you listen, hear and acknowledge them. You may notice yourself harboring resentment toward the other person and letting these feelings fester can sour your relationship overall. Why? Because unresolved feelings can easily bleed into a relationship. (dragana991 / Getty)īut in order to strengthen your relationship and move forward, having the feelings conversation is crucial. Telling someone how you feel also requires you to be vulnerable - something that can be hard for us to do. The fear that the other will either dismiss your feelings or not care can be a heavy weight to bear during this kind of conversation. However, sometimes it can feel intimidating to tell someone how something they said or did made you feel. Likely, you hope that by having this difficult conversation you’ll feel better on the other side of it.
#HAVING DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS PROFESSIONAL#
If something has occurred in one of your personal or professional relationships that warrants a tough talk, you usually feel compelled to have this conversation because of the way you are feeling. Feelings inherently make a conversation difficult. The second conversation in the three conversations is the conversation about feelings. However, shifting the goal away from deciding who was wrong in these tough conversations and instead focusing on understanding one another better, especially the intent behind the action that was taken by either yourself or the other person can go a long way in turning this tough chat into a learning conversation. (Learn more about active listening here)ĭuring the what happened conversation, it can be easy to want to assign blame. In order to avoid this, approaching them with an open mind and willingness to listen, without having already made your mind up about why this person acted in this manner is the best way to go into this. This can make having a difficult conversation even more challenging –- especially if you’ve been ruminating over the event since it took place and have convinced yourself that this person acted out of malice or ill intentions. They may agree on the actions that were taken, but the meaning behind what those actions say or reflect, and what the intentions were of each party when the event happened may differ and cause conflict as a result.Īnother point of contention within this first conversation arises when people assume they know what the other’s intentions were, and refuse to see it from the other perspective. The “what happened” conversation is a difficult one to navigate, because oftentimes one or both parties enter this difficult conversation feeling certain that their experience and viewpoint of what happened is the correct one. In the first of three conversations, both parties discuss what happened, each from their own viewpoint. Maybe you’ve discovered something that suggests your romantic partner has been unfaithful, and you need to get more clarity on whether or not this has actually occurred. Or, you found out you were passed over for a promotion at work and need to speak with your boss to understand more about why that is.
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